The new London Mayoral Candidates Booklet is full of hidden messages. Here’s the third in the series.

Lindsey German: Vote for me and I’ll overrule Parliament by bringing our boys back from Iraq and Afghanistan. The bourgeois capitalists in their plush palace at Westminster will of course tell me to f*ck off, but that won’t stop me. Why should I have to settle for the limited powers of the London Mayoralty when revolution is just round the corner? I’ll gather whatever comrades haven’t that day stomped off to form their own ideologically-discredited, Leninist-Stalinist, or Trotskyite-Kalininist-Galwegian splinter group, get them behind the wheels of Leninstone’s exploding bendy buses and go and pick our brave, brainwashed troops from the Middle East. At least, we would if any of the troops wanted to come back. And if we could convince the RMT’s members not to strike over the additional duties of training us to drive. Traitors. When the troops do get back, the RMT will be first up against the wall. Though we’ll need some of those troops to help us in our armed struggle against capitalism defend civil liberties. Vote for me. It’s time for me to have a massive ego trip equality.

Yesterday in Camden, campaigning for Boris. I approached the bloke on the right of this picture.

“Have a Back Boris badge!”

“Boris Johnson?”

“Yes.”

“He’s here?”

“Yes.”

“I like Boris. But I wouldn’t vote for him. He’s a… bit of a clown, isn’t he?”

“Would you like to meet him?”

“No, it’s all right…”

“Go on,” I said, backed up by a friendly councillor. “Why don’t you meet him?”

So they met. Boris turned out to be a good listener, the stallholder - I bet - saw far beyond the clowning. They talked quite like old friends: I was impressed.

Still, if you do want a laugh there are plenty more photos of the day here.