Solace for anyone who feels ignorant of current affairs:

Dearest partner is not a stupid man, but rarely watches the news and so is not kept up to date on current affairs.

However this morning his ignorance at the world astounded me.

So - the news is on in the background as he is getting ready for work, all of a sudden he starts rushing and cursing under his breath.

“I’m going to have to rush - looks like today is going to be a nightmare in the city centre and I have lots to do - this is all I need?” he says.

“What’s wrong?” I ask.

“Well something is going on in Birmingham. Some monks are protesting and the army and police are out with tear gas, most roads will be closed I bet and it will be a nightmare for me. Where have the monks come from anyway?”

After a few seconds it registers with me that he is in fact mistaking Birmingham with Burma.

Read the rest, and the responses, here…

Find the entire book here. Thanks to A Man in the Desert.

I laughed out loud when I read Shuggy’s take on this story about Kilmer Middle School, Virginia. The Headteacher has banned her pupils from touching each other:

[H]eadteacher Deborah Hernandez was accused of being out of touch, literally and scholastically, after banning physical contact between her 1,100 pupils.

Hugs, cuddles and handshakes are especially taboo.

Shuggy dismisses all accusations of American puritanism, pointing out that there’s good sense in Ms Hernandez’s stance:

Because it starts with the high-fives, then it’s the hugs - next thing you know they’re bonking in the toilets.

Which can lead to breeding.

And the average high school pupil has no business breeding, let me tell you.

Shuggy’s a teacher, and I quite see his point. But he’s also missing something: it’s not all about sex.

Take my old school as an example. Being an all-boys school, most of us didn’t have the remotest urge to hug our fellows (unless you were the sort who liked a fondle in the scrum or happened to be the class perv). The sorts of physical contact that caused problems were things like brutalising each other with running spikes, slamming bits of other boys’ anatomies in the desk lids, doing unspeakable things with Deep Heat and having rugby balls thrown full pelt into your face by one particular games master.

All of these things (bar the last one) were generally patched up by a good manly handshake, which signalled the beginning of a cooling-off period in which you were unmolested just long enough to plot your revenge.

This is why I’m going to watch what happens at Hackney’s Mossbourne Academy with the greatest interest. This school has also banned physical contact between its pupils and, as two teenage hacks point out:

According to staff at the academy, hugging or any sort of contact could be classified as a form of bullying. Is the school going too far? And, if so, are they trying to bring back the severity of schooling from the olden days?

Of course they are! This is a modern version of the “six-inch rule”, originally designed to keep the sexes apart, but now applied to keep everyone away from each other.

But is it justified? The writers think not:

Hugging is like a greeting to us and, without it, we feel like we haven’t said hello properly.

I’m sorry, girls, but these are dangerous times. If the President of the USA can’t manage to shake hands without becoming the victim of a crime, a hug is a risk too far. Your pockets could be emptied in seconds.

Luckily, I have a solution: take up rugby instead. You can have as many hugs as you like and the opportunities for theft are minimal. And, best of all, the handshake at the end is compulsory.

Of all the methods used to prevent and tackle crime, one of the most controversial is CCTV. Personally, knowing what it’s like to wait for a bus in Seven Sisters after nightfall, I think - judiciously used - it can be a handy tool.

If it works.

That’s why I wasn’t even slightly surprised to read this:

For the first time, Hackney Homes is using closed circuit television (CCTV) teamed with tracking equipment, to target known crime hotspots in Hackney.

For the first time? Why, what has Hackney Homes been doing up to now?

Mike Emmett, who oversees Hackney Homes’ CCTV programme said: “CCTV has been installed in many Hackney Homes estates and has provided an effective means of surveillance. The problem is that the short-focal camera lens covers a wide area but the video images are too course [sic] to see any detail”.

The Hackney Homes technique of crime prevention? Rely on CCTV images that are too poor to see in any detail. Top marks!

Full article here.

I am left completely speechless, so if you want to find out why “Hamas militants have suspended a TV program that featured a Mickey Mouse lookalike urging Palestinian children to fight
Israel and work for global Islamic domination’, then I suggest you read the full story here.

If ever you feel that you’re not up to the mark as a good parent, all you have to do is turn to the Internet. There’s always someone making a much worse job of it than you.

I was reading The Times in the Springfield Park café earlier this afternoon and I nearly choked when I read that Lord Browne, the former chairman of BP who lost his job for lying in court about his relationship with escort Paul Chevalier, has used a lecture on the environment in Brussels to say:

I learnt many things from my late mother, Paula, a survivor of Auschwitz, but most of all I learnt it is the future that is worth looking to and not the past, and so I shall.

I don’t mind if Lord Browne has relationships with escorts, but I do mind that he should lie in court. But what appals me is the fact that he should invoke the name of his dead mother and the atrocities of Auschwitz in an attempt to trivialise his own dishonesty.

And then refuse to take any questions on the matter.