No, not the title of a long forgotten Horror ‘B’ movie (though, now I come to think of it, it should have been), but two toys on sale at fredflare.com. Frankly, I’m fed up with Thomas the Tank Engine and I’m looking for something else to buy myself the toddler. The only question is which: Poe, the Cat Lady, or both?

(Incidentally, I twice looked after a house owned by a woman who ran a cats’ charity. It was in a sleepy Cambridgeshire village and there were about 40 cats living inside, and a similar number of feral and semi-feral felines ranging about the garden and local vicinity. At feeding time I had to barricade myself into the kitchen with a lone, depressed dog and give him his tucker before stripping meat from several chickens and opening a few dozen tins of Whiskas - all the while watched through the window by about 30 pairs of eyes. I like cats, but the atmosphere was far more horrifying than anything even Poe managed to dream up. As for the state of the carpets…).